I know this sounds ridiculous. Stay with me.

Every evening had become the same loop. Kids in bed, both on the couch, both on our phones, Netflix on that nobody was watching. Same room, completely disconnected.

So we moved the TV. Put a puzzle and a game on the coffee table.

We rearranged the couch so we were facing each other instead of a screen. Within a week, conversations we hadn’t had in months started coming back.

Not because we became better communicators. Because we removed the barrier.

The standard advice of “just try harder” fails because trying harder works for about three days. Changing your environment works for years.

If you’re trying to pray more, put the devotional on your pillow. Trying to connect with your spouse? Move the phone charger out of the bedroom. Trying to read more? Put the book where the remote lives.

Stop trying to change your behavior through willpower alone. Change the room instead.

We actually put together a few things around this idea while working on the book.

The first chapter is called Calm, and if you pre order, you’ll get early access to it, along with a simple 7 day commitment challenge workbook to help you follow through on the small shifts that actually stick. You’ll also get access to our exclusive community with live Zooms and more from us!

We’re also taking this conversation on the road in June for The Courage to Commit Nights. Four nights, four cities, just us unpacking all of this in real time. We’d love to see you there if you’re nearby!

When you think about it, what’s one thing in your environment that’s quietly working against the life you want? For us, the living room setup was a big one.

Reply and share your thoughts with us. We read every email!

Chat with you all next week!

— Shawn

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