and I didn’t appreciate it until I became a parent.

When I fell — and I fell approximately 8 million times — he didn’t lecture. He just said…

“One rep closer.”

Whether I stuck the landing or face-planted, I was accumulating information. The falls weren’t failures. They were investments.

I think about this watching our daughter learn gymnastics. She gets frustrated when she can’t master a cartwheel, and I want to tell her: The goal isn’t to never fall. The goal is to fall better.

The research is clear: People who practice self-compassion stick with difficult tasks longer, recover faster, and are more motivated to improve. Self-criticism makes people avoid the thing that hurt. We’ve got it backwards — grace is the actual rocket fuel.

Think about the last time you dropped the ball.

Your first response was probably: “What’s wrong with me?” That voice isn’t motivating you. It’s paralyzing you. It’s why people quit diets on Day 3 and abandon the journal after a two-week gap instead of just picking it back up.

The alternative isn’t lowering your standards. It’s changing how you respond to falling short of them.

Our book ends with a chapter on grace because everything else falls apart without it. Pre-order The Courage to Commit HERE!

Where do you need to hear “one rep closer” instead of “what’s wrong with you”? Hit reply!

- Shawn Johnson East

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