Be a good sport

We made it to the finish line! And by finish line I mean Friday. Doesn’t matter who got here first—you’re all gold medalists in my mind (but I wouldn’t ask Shawn the same question). 

Today’s Q&A tackles all things sportsmanship, team building, and confidence—whether it’s during Little League or a family game of Monopoly. Ready, set, GO!

—Lindsay

P.S. Have you listened to FamilyMade’s new Never TMI podcast we told you about Monday? Our team has it on repeat. Check it out and let me know what you think! 🎙️

Our answer: It can be rough when kids start to develop their competitive side and experience those first feelings of disappointment. You mean I didn’t win the game? But I always win! And now I have to tell my little brother that he played a good game? None of that sounds very appealing to your little one, right? The truth is, it’s not fun to lose. 

We’ve noticed the same thing recently with Drew,” Shawn said. “She’s started to experience more of those frustrated moments. Instead of telling her the emotions are wrong, I have been giving her different ways to express them.

A few ideas so you can do the same:

Acknowledge how disappointing losing can be

Validate your child’s feelings. Shawn told me about a time when Jett took one of Drew’s toys and she was not feeling it. Shawn acknowledged Drew’s feelings, gave her a method to express them (closing her eyes, balling up her fists, and taking three deep breaths), and then redirected her to play with something else. 

For older kids, it might be helpful to look for the lessons in loss—because losing isn’t the worst thing ever. What can be done differently next time? Where can we shift focus and remember what was fun about the game? Where can we celebrate and enjoy the effort and experience of playing?

Stick to the rules

It’s so tempting to let the littlest ones win all the time. They’re so cute and the last thing you want to do is shout “sorry!” and send their little green peg back to start.

But showing everyone in the family how to play a fair game that follows the rules sets the foundation for years of enjoyable board game playing (and necessary rule-following).

Model what good sportsmanship looks like

If Daddy throws his phone at the end of the game because he didn’t like the outcome, everyone sees it and remembers it.

Leading by example helps,” Shawn said. It’s helpful for kids to see the adults in their lives have fun, win or lose, and move forward in a positive way.

Our answer: My daughter was born exactly two weeks before the world shut down. Classic “pandemic baby.” We often wonder how the necessary precautions we took during that time affected her, from missing out on interaction with extended family and friends to never seeing mouth movement because of all the masks. Could that be linked to her speech issues? Maybe.

But one thing is for sure: This generation will experience things differently than we did growing up. Pair that reality with developmental changes and emotions, and it’s pretty normal for young kids to feel shy communicating, even when it’s with someone they love! 

So what to do? 

1. Honor their boundaries. For example, suggest a hug, a high-five, or a wave when greeting their grandparents and let them pick. 

2. Do it yourself. You saying hello to the mail delivery person or the receptionist at daycare is a great way to show them it’s polite to greet people.

Submit a question to be featured in a future Q&A here.

Teaching kids about $$. While we’re on the topic of the greatest life lessons of all time, we might as well jump into teaching kids about money, too. This Slate Q&A tackles the age-old question of allowance with some great ideas about explaining concepts like how long it takes to earn a certain amount of money and how to spend it responsibly. 

Protecting what's already good. Designed by experts and inspired by couples therapy, OURS provides modern couples wellness for parents like you who understand the importance of investing in your relationship. It's not just an investment in your happiness, it’s an investment in the happiness of your kids, too.* 

Can I ask you a question? Dr. T the Therapist shares a tidbit about the importance of those six words you’ve surely heard before:  “Can I ask you a question?” This one resonated for me with me and my curious 6-year-old!  

Agree to Disagree. Remember Monday when we agreed to disagree? The topic of that email happens to mirror a brand new podcast of the same name. We are pumped to welcome Agree to Disagree with Mykayla & Jonas to FamilyMade Media. As newlyweds, Mykayla and Jonas aren’t afraid to share their own unique perspectives and plenty of laughs, too. Check it out!

If you have a small (or large) victory, tip, or trick, hit reply and share! I’d love to hear from you.

*This is sponsored advertising content

One last thing: Don’t get bogged down stressing about whether you’re doing it all “right.” Our kids, big and small, have plenty of time to learn—and they will, one way or another! Be kind to yourselves and to them…and don’t forget to actually have fun playing that board game! Have a great weekend.