Agree to disagree

What’s up, everyone? You may have caught wind of a rumor that Shawn and Andrew are teaming up with a potty training expert to create *the* course for all of us potty training-curious folks. To quote Lizzo and Cardi B, “All the rumors are true.”

Here are the details →

• This course is designed by potty training consultant Allison Jandu and it’ll teach you the same system that Shawn and Andrew used while potty training Drew.

• It costs less than a giant pack of diapers, and it’s self-paced so you can access it anytime you’d like, whenever you’re ready.

Find out if your toddler is ready for Potty Training 101 by taking this quiz! And learn more about FamilyMade’s Potty Training 101 here.

The course takes the stress out of one of the biggest parenting fundamentals of all time. As a mama about to embark on this grand adventure for the second time, I know the value of having a framework that’s easy, flexible, and gets results. Count me in!

Now speaking of fundamentals…not everything is as easy as saying yes to a course. Sometimes? Disagreements happen. Let’s talk about how to get through ‘em.

—Lindsay

Didn’t We Just Talk About Communication?

We did, and we’ll definitely do it again. Because communication is the glue that holds families (and the world) together. And when it comes to parenting fundamentals, communication is the key to healthy compromise, fulfilling relationships, and overall harmony.

Because let’s be honest—it’s impossible to agree on everything, all of the time as a parent. The stakes feel high (reminder that “If I mess this up, I will ruin their lives!” isn’t true), which can create unwanted tension. So how do you break through?

Get a head start

Shawn and Andrew did a lot of the hard work before having kids by discussing all the big topics and their perspectives pre-Drew. Still, they sometimes get into it over a difference in style.

“Andrew and I have had disagreements,” said Shawn. “For example, I was for sleep training and Andrew was not. Ultimately, it comes down to having very open and honest conversations.”

Which brings us to the basics of communication:

• Active listening. Hear what your partner is saying and remember that you’re on the same team.

• Talking through the discomfort. Ever procrastinated on laundry and then the pile grows so massive you can’t imagine how you’ll get through it? Same logic applies for parenting disagreements—it’s best to get through the hard stuff now.

• Honoring yourself and needs. You feel the way you do for a reason. How can you communicate that with your partner to ensure those feelings are validated and understood?

One helpful tip: Write down what’s important to you and why—for example, jot down your reasoning for a 10pm curfew for your teenager. Ask your partner to do the same. Then compare lists, find common ground, and marvel at how easy it is to reach a compromise.

Take it outside

While modeling strong, effective communication and involving your (age appropriate) kids in big life decisions is important, there’s a time and a place for it. And sometimes a disagreement on parenting fundamentals isn’t meant to happen in front of the whole family.

Whether you’re discussing things calmly or using your “this is getting heated, isn’t it” voice, consider moving the conversation outside or behind closed doors. It’s easiest to communicate like adults when…well, when it’s just adults.

Form a team

When it truly feels like you’re in the trenches together with another person, it is so much easier to agree to disagree, form a united front, and take on the world (or a new chores chart).

Our favorite athletes have—not surprisingly—compromised on team roles. Andrew trusts Shawn to do the deep research on big parenting fundamentals, while Andrew takes on other important team tasks like finances. From there, it tends to be much easier to reach a solution together.

“We tend to come to an agreement or a compromise,” Shawn said.

Be compassionate and flexible

Your partner is your partner for a reason. Remember the things you appreciate and respect about your partner, their background and upbringing, and their values. When it comes to raising kids, we all mean well. A little compassion, trust, and flexibility go a long way.

Tween time. You knew it was coming but you weren’t quite prepared. Your child has become a tween, and tweens are known to be…how can I say this…kind of mean sometimes. Here's how to handle a newly-disrespectful or moody tween (*bookmarks this for later 🔖*).

Special needs co-parenting. Co-parenting is hard. If your child has special needs or circumstances, there are even more factors to consider when making important decisions. Thrive Global has some valuable tips.

Big news from FamilyMade: We have a brand new podcast debuting on the FamilyMade network this Thursday! It’s called Never TMI, it’s hosted by Jaclyn and Seth Gibson, and as the show’s name might suggest…the Gibsons aren’t holding anything back. Hanging out with the Gibsons, you’ll find encouragement, tips, and hope for everything—your sex life, your parenting style, your health, your communication, your personal boundaries, your finances, your friendships, and so much more. Check out the first episode of Never TMI on the FamilyMade network this Thursday.

Hey—keep truckin’. One thing I love about how we close our newsletters around here is with the reminder that you’re doing great. Because you are. Parenting is hard. Family is hard. Relationships are hard. We’re all out here doing the best we can. High five! See you Friday.