Let it all out

How do we figure out in-law relationships?

February 03, 2023

Can anyone else relate? I’m a grown adult who still spends every February 3 thinking about whether a groundhog in Pennsylvania saw its shadow on February 2. Punxsutawney Phil did predict six more weeks of winter yesterday, but I’m hoping this is just one of those years he misses the mark.

—Lindsay

How do you avoid feeling selfish for not wanting relatives to spend time with your kids? My MIL asks to spend time with our 1-year-old in the afternoon, but that's the only time during the day I get to see my child. I work all day and my husband brings him to daycare.

—Cory

Our answer: It’s difficult to share time with your child when that time feels limited. Let’s explore some possible solutions.

Compromise. It’s one of the most important parts of any relationship, including that with your in-laws. Try…

  • A simple conversation about taking turns as caretakers.

  • Suggesting your mother-in-law slots in at another point in your schedule.

  • Testing out an every-other-week situation so you both get that quality time.

Flip the script. Instead of playing tug-of-war, try leaning into the idea of *special* quality time for your child and your MIL on a weekend afternoon or evening. You might even get a babysitter out of it for some R&R or a date night!

But…TBH? We know that family dynamics can make this conversation a difficult one. Ask your partner if they’re able to offer some support in finding a new setup that will make everyone happy.

Thanks for the tips about dealing with overwhelms. I was just wondering if you ever cry when you get overwhelmed? (I do)

—Anita

Our answer: If it’s a day that ends in the letter “Y,” chances are…some tears have been shed. Why? It’s therapeutic!

A good cry, whether it happens because you’re feeling overwhelmed or sad or just saw a really cute TikTok of a dog who loves his grandparents, can be exactly what you needed. It’s a biological response to release stress hormones, but crying also helps you to…

  • Regulate emotions

  • Self-soothe

  • Express a need for help

  • Relieve pain

And tears can even improve your mood and your vision! So let it all out and chances are, you’ll feel better soon.

Submit a question to be featured in a future Q&A here.

International babe on the go. Imagine for a moment that your mom is Naomi Campbell! Genetics have provided you with both 1) a superb runway strut and 2) a well-stamped passport…all by the age of 1.

New challenge. We could watch challenge vids all day long. Shawn and Andrew recently tried this one. A+ for effort. 😂

We’re suckers for a great love story. Today’s rom-com inspiration? How actors Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor married after a year of dating, separated after 17 years of marriage, and then reunited unexpectedly during the pandemic.

Our last tip? Feel the feels. Cry it out. Laugh more! That’s your homework. See you next time!