Keep calm and carry on
Answering your questions about going through fertility treatments, TTC, and entering new situations
Welcome, sweet November, the unofficial month of gratitude, side dishes, and tracking down your winter coat. Also? November always feels like the calm before the storm of the holidays. Take it from me, queen of impatience, that it’s easy to rush past all of the “quiet” to get to the exciting part. But remaining calm is a skill!
And we’re starting our practice today, with some questions (and answers!) about keeping it cool when the world wants you to do otherwise. Breathe in, hold for 7, breathe out. Now on to your questions.
Our answer: We’re sending hugs, positive thoughts, and big helping of whatever your favorite comfort food is to anyone on a fertility journey. It can be such an emotional time of high highs and low lows and way too much wait-and-see.
Our best advice for this season of life (and really all periods of uncertainty) is to be present in the moment you’re in right now. Look around at your life, the things and people that bring you joy, and even the beauty of the world that surrounds us. They say peace is in the present moment, so do your best not to jump into the “what ifs.”
We know, easier said than done. So here are some pointers on the “done” part:
If it’s available to you, try practicing mindfulness and meditation, even if it’s only for a couple minutes a day. This NYT list of guided meditations can help anchor you into the now.
Movement always helps, too. Go on a long walk—without a podcast or a queued up list of Midnights’ best tracks blaring in your ears. Use that time not to distract yourself but to go deeper into exploring what you’re feeling and why.
This is maybe the most broadly applicable advice we’ve ever given in this newsletter, but write it all down. Someday, you might want to revisit the emotions you’re feeling today—so do future (and present) you a favor and put pen to paper in a journal for five minutes every day. You might feel discouraged some days, you might feel positive others, but you will always be feeling. And paying attention to that works wonders.
Finally, find comfort in a community that can help you navigate through uncertainty with support and encouragement. Maybe that community is on social media—if you’re active on Tik Tok, you may be familiar with The Ponds, who candidly share their journey with treatments and infertility. TW: They have experienced loss—but they remain refreshingly open and hopeful about their experience.
And maybe that community is right here, on the screen in front of you. Our whole team is always just an email away…and we have plenty of good reasons to be hopeful.
Our answer: I really do think that I’ll win my first Oscar for an at-home performance of “Going to the Dentist for the First Time,” in which I play the titular role of Dentist.
Got kiddos worried about their first time doing something new like seeing the doctor? Bring out that toy stethoscope and recite all the medical terminology you’ve learned from 19 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. My girls love going to the doctor and dentist because we pretend to do both so much together at home that it’s something they look forward to (and know what to expect when they arrive.)
It's all about setting expectations to prepare them for newness. When they know what’s on the horizon because they talked about it at home, they’ll feel more empowered to handle whatever comes their way confidently.
If it’s a new daycare, get them excited about the opportunity to meet new friends, play with new toys, and do new activities. It may even be helpful to visit the destination ahead of time, so surroundings feel more familiar on Day 1. Meeting the new teacher or doctor makes the situation way less scary for a little one who might be clingy to mom or dad.
Submit a question to be featured in a future Q&A here.
Saving for a baby. Babygaga presents: 10 Money Tips for Parents-to-Be. Yes, babies can be expensive, but there are many ways to avoid breaking the bank as you prepare that cute little nursery.
Potty training + travel. Checking in on all those potty training warriors out there. I’m in the thick of it myself, but learning from Allison Jandu through the FamilyMade potty training course has been filled with so many aha moments! This is just one of her recent IG videos that blew my mind. Genius stuff.
Who's cutting onions in here? Andrew interviewed a newly-three-year-old Drew and...let's just say we're bookmarking this video for those days when you just need a smile and that warm hug feeling.
If you have a small (or large) victory, tip, or trick, hit reply and share! I’d love to hear from you.
Take a minute. Life is busy. Life can be stressful. Take a minute—60 full seconds—for yourself and take that deep breath you’ve been holding while you read this. What a difference it can make. I’ll see you next week!